Friday, July 16, 2010

One Month

For those playing along, for now, we have decided to split the difference with the cash we were given and get an inexpensive portable swing and to use some toward an Erg.o that Rachel found for us on NYC's craigslist. Our local craigslist isn't so great for higher-end items. You get plenty of used grac.o/fisher-price and/or winnie-the-p.ooh themed whatever (not that there is anything wrong with any of that-- I have plenty of it in my house right now) but you just won't find a lot of specialty items, and when you do, you often won't find that great of a deal on them. I found umpteen-million used exersaucer/jumper-type items, and so when the time comes that those things will be of use to us, I can probably find a used one (or two) for a fairly reasonable price.

And now, the real reason you stop by:

One Month

We are one month old today!

Holy McMoly. Somehow, I've managed to survive one month as the mother of twins. It's a flippin' miracle. And I've only broken down in frustrated tears once in the past week. Pretty good!

My mom is still here helping us, and today, her best friend arrived (my second mother) and so, now, we do have enough hands to really help. However, the arrival of Mom's friend means that her departure is imminent (part of the reason friend is here is to help Mom with the drive back home). And that SUCKS. It's not that I can't do it myself, but rather that without her here, there is no break for me, at least during the day. I just don't have any local friends. I really need to remedy that, but despite appearances to the contrary, I've actually become quite shy when meeting new people in person. So. Yeah. No real support system here. Mom will be missed, but I have been so lucky to have her as long as I did.

Sigh. How did you (or do you) go about meeting new people, especially meeting other mom-friend types? Who do you lean on for support?

13 comments:

Kait said...

I just joined the Golden Gate's Mothers Group. It's pretty intense, as far as mothers' groups go, but it's also pretty big and has a lot of activities and subgroups. I haven't officially signed up because I need to pay $75 (for the year) and my VISA is maxed out right so I'm waiting until it rolls over to my next statement, which should be happening any day now... Anyway, that is my big plan. I also have few friends in the area, and NONE with children, so I'm desperate for another mom to hang out with. I hope I find someone I click with. We shall see. Good luck finding someone!

The boys look beautiful, by the way.

Rachel said...

If there's any type of breastfeeding support group, I'd try that. Any social activity where you can keep your shirt off when you have a newborn worked well for me ;-)

strongblonde said...

totally agree with the above. i joined the multiples group in the area....but have not done a whole lot with them yet b/c i'm so shy and b/c i'm afraid my kids will be crazy and i won't be able to control them. lol.

i WISH i'd gone to more things when the kids were your boys age!! i think the breastfeeding center is a great idea. the one here would allow you to come for free for "coffee talk" and breastfeeding. the nice thing about this age is that the kids are so portable. :)

...and did i mention they are adorable, too??

Melis.sa said...

They look so sweet!!

I honestly didn't do much until my daughter was 6 months but then again that explains why I went to NY with a girl friend to get out of the house...

jill said...

Whoa I think I've just been blinded by cuteness...

Congrats on making it through a month! :) I can't even imagine how hard (and wonderful of course) it must be.

annacyclopediaisworkingonit said...

The boys are just scrumptious, Kate. Sigh. Reminds me that I need to get my sh*t together and post you the parcel I have for you before they grow out of what's inside. Gosh, I suck at getting things accomplished lately.

Most of my good mom connections come from La Leche League, and I've found a lot of the people I've met there cross over to other mom stuff - yoga, swimming, library story/song time, other moms' support groups in town. Wishing you a lot of luck in finding your tribe - it makes a huge difference to know women that you can hang out with during the day and who understand when you're late because, well, you have a baby or two.

Wishing I could just invite you into my little cabal of mothers...

Trinity said...

Kate, H and J are so, so sweet! They are growing so fast, wow. :) I think it's incredible that your mom has been there all this time, and I'm vicariously bummed for her that her departure is nearing...

I keep in touch with our local moms of multiples group for work purposes--I'm constantly giving out their newsletter to new parents of multiples. Anyway, I'm on the group's listserve, and it seems like they are a really supportive bunch. I would totally recommend exploring your local group. Maybe the hospital where you delivered can point you in the right direction?

Anyway, happy weekend, girl!

Trinity said...

I meant so say above that I was bummed for YOU that your mom was leaving. Sorry, it's late and my synapses just ain't firing! ;)

Christina said...

They are so cute and I cannot believe it's been a month!

I have no mommy friends so I'm no help there. My parents also seem to know nothing at all about babies so Josh is my only means of support.

JJ said...

Wow, already one month....

They are SO adorable! Really see both of you in them :)

Im here! Im here! I know Im not super close, but keep me in your pocket if you need me. Check out meetup.com--I know there is a mom's group in our area--and I know one very close to you.

Tara said...

Eeek, so adorable! Identical or fraternal? Have you figured it out yet?

No mommy friends myself other than our neighbor (but her girls are 4 & 6 years so not too much in common). I want to join our local MoMs club but it's not very active save one meeting a month from 7-9p. Don't they know that's bedtime and thus sacred.

BTW, thanks for your comment on my post.

addingtothepack said...

Happy 1 month, boys! I can see both you and H in both of them. Pretty cool.

the Babychaser: said...

Oh god, they are so cute! Those MOUTHS!!! Fantastic.

I fell into some mommy groups through my yoga classes, both prenatal and postnatal. But the DC Metro area is swimming with new moms (and upper-middle-class crunchy-granola yoga-types), so there wasn't really any trouble.

I'd check with your local hospital or YMCA about new mom groups. There is a serious baby boom all over the country right now (recession, I think), so you shouldn't have trouble.

A warning, though. The mommy groups are merely a means to meet new mommys to be friends with--the groups themselves can get kind of annoying. You just have to go and you'll spot the snarky cool ones immediately. Also, they won't be much help, because they'll be tending to their own babies. But it's a huge help to beat the loneliness.

You can totally handle these babies alone, Kate. I had a month longer than you before I ended up on my own, but when I did I was REALLY on my own--J was getting home around midnight and was working weekends too. And I did fine, really. Trust yourself--you'll figure it out.

Remember that this time flies by so fast. I'm already back at work and it seems like my four months at home were just a blur. So even when it's really hard, remind yourself that it's temporary.