Friday, June 18, 2010

All you need is...

I swear there's a birth story coming at some point (though it isn't all that exciting-- walk in, get numb, take babies out, sew Kate up...), but for now, I just have to say that there's not much better than spending your day napping in bed with an adorable, sleep-heavy squeaking little dough-lump snuzzling on your chest. Except the fact that this one is yours to keep. And that later, you get to do the same thing, only with his brother. Sigh. I truly can't remember a time feeling this much happiness and love. I feel so incredibly lucky.

I can't honestly say I know a whole lot about what it's like to endure lengthy and tragic treatments and procedures, to be truly and utterly beaten down by infertility (again, we are so lucky to have been so quickly and accurately diagnosed the first time) but I can say that if I had any advice for my friends still in the trenches, it would be that based on feeling what I feel right now, it's all worth it. The years of not knowing and struggling to concieve without an RE, and then dealing with the appointments and scheduling and painful procedures and injections, the "what if"s and doubts and emotional fuckery-- all of it is nothing compared to this bliss. Perhaps I would feel differently if my treatment story had been longer or more wrought with intense tragedy and pain and disappointment and expense-- I don't know. But I do know that from this side of things, I would race back in time to tell my year-ago self (or two or three or seven-year-ago self) that this is THE BEST. The absolute best. And it is truly my biggest wish for all of my bloggy friends to find bliss lke this at the end of their journey (even if parenthood isn't your eventual end). It is just so much better and more amazing than I ever imagined it could be. And this happiness should belong to everyone.

Sigh. Let me stop myself before I begin singing Kum Bah Ya... Besides, The Beatles said all of this better than I ever could:
"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."

Love, love, love...

18 comments:

Circus Princess said...

LOVE

Marie said...

You are a turd! You made me cry at my desk. I know of this overwhelming love you speak of. It is so great! And you really can't even describe it.

Shelly said...

awwwww!

tireegal68 said...

I missed it - but here I am saying congrats. So happy you are in bliss! The boys are adorable! Enjoy ! How's the c-section recovery going? Xoxo

Ellen K. said...

I totally agree. And so does D. Even with PPD and the expenses of IVF and a pretty rough time of it during IF. We marvel every day at our luck.

Enjoy. : )

strongblonde said...

:) it's truly amazing, right?

xoxo

Rachel said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this image.

Beautiful Mess said...

Congratulations sweetie, you boys are absolutely beautiful!

That love feeling is so amazing, isn't it? Its like you just can't get enough of it. Enjoy your beautiful boys!
*HUGS*

annacyclopediaisworkingonit said...

Oh, Kate! I'm so, so glad you're here, basking in the love. It makes me so happy to read this.

The crazy thing is that it just keeps getting better and better.

Miss Unsinkable said...

Beautiful - just, simply beautiful!

XOXO - Kara

PJ said...

Exactly. I am completely overwhelmed with love and adoration.

Your boys are beautiful Kate!

And, I hear ya! Sleep, eat, sleep, sleep, sleep, with an occaisional whimper and a diaper change. What a life!

Bliss.

Photogrl said...

So very true...you put it so well.

Being that I struggled with secondary IF, remembering those moments after Miss O's birth was the only thing that kept me going in my quest for #2.

I'm SO happy for you...

Alexicographer said...

It's wonderful to see you so happy.

Again, congratulations!

Tara said...

Beautiful! Congratulations once again.

Wishing 4 One said...

"emotional f-ery" man that is so mine now. thanks for the mind corruption.

you know, i so hope i reach your "side" in october I can't imagine how good it must feel to finally hold YOUR sons girl, truly a blessing in so many ways. and worth every minute, month and year of grief I agree. xoxoxo

the Babychaser: said...

Five years, three IUI, five IVF, one FET, four m/c's, and I still couldn't agree with you more. SO worth it! The money, the tears, the years, and the scars just fade away in G's coos and D's giggles. (That's right-- he giggles!)

Congrats on making it to your scheduled-C! I hadn't been keeping track of your due date, but when I didn't hear from you re: package (which I'm assuming arrived) I realized that holy crap you were probably a mommy!

Honey, you deserve this happiness and love. Treasure it, savor it. Do what I do and wrap yourself up in it like a blanket when you lie down to sleep.

Can't wait to hear more. Please email me if you need any advice or help. I'm only 12 weeks in front of you but I feel like a veteran by now. (I can email you my phone number as well, sweetie.)

Hang in there. It does get tough, but all the crappy stuff is so very temporary. Seriously, why get all crazed over sleep deprivation (and oh, god, am I suffering from long-term sleep deprivation!) when it's only a few months of it?

Oh, and remember what I said about drugs. Seriously. I don't know a single woman who didn't get PPD, and there's no reason to be miserable during these magical months.

AARGGH. I want to write more, but the babies are clamoring for breakfast. And it's 6:20 a.m., which is WAY too early. Grrr.

Love you,

BC

cindyhoo2 said...

What a beautiful post!! I must admit that my road has been long and even just having the babies in the oven (joey's oven) is making all the heartache and hurt fade. I can only imagine how much healing will happen when we actually meet our boys! Congrats again. This post made me all teary.

Shinejil said...

EXCELLENT.

So happy to hear you're so happy! So glad everyone's doing well!