Wednesday, September 15, 2010

List-Style Works For Me

-I see the commercials for those "Your Baby Can READ!" things, and they make me laugh. Because when they would come on TV while I was pregnant, H and I would poke the belly and tell them to hurry up and get with the program and READ already. (well, it was funny to us...)

-Another funny thing I remember while pregnant:
I used to beg H to go up to the pharmacist at Target with me standing behind him in all my third-trimester-twin glory and ask for a recommendation of pregnancy test brands because he thought his wife might be pregnant. (um, again. Funny to us...)

-I *really* miss being pregnant. I'm one of those freakazoids who (except for the last couple of weeks or so) really liked being pregnant. It's really too bad that we don't want more kids.

-H brought home a cold this weekend. And I didn't kill him. He's lucky. (And not because he brought disease into our house-- that was to be expected. If my blog wasn't all hidden right now, I'd refer you to posts from late September for the last three years which all feature some illness or another, courtesy of Back To School time. It comes with the territory of working in a scholastic environment-- but rather because he came dangerously close to abusing his "get out of baby duty" card. Not cool. Not cool at all.)

-And now, after coursing through the boys yesterday and today, I've got the scratchy throat, and exhaustion and burny eyes and drippy nose. H has declared that if I absolutely need it, he will come home early to assist with baby care, but this is only because we had an Almost-Fight on Sunday due to the aforementioned possible abuse of baby-duty card, at which point he declared that if I get sick, that I *do* in fact get the chance to play my own "Get Out Of Baby Duty" card. Yeah, right.

-I keep wanting to write about different things and having to censor myself, because WHO KNOWS who might be reading this. Certain topics are completely off-limits (H's work environment being one of them...), which is too bad, because his job is not one of those jobs where you just work at it and it doesn't affect your life outside of work. It's a huge part of his identity, and thus has a huge impact on our lives (which means that it majorly impacts my life), but I cannot write about it, lest some FUCKFACE decide to try again to wreak havoc in our lives.

-We have our flight plans set for the Christmas holiday. I was serious before when I asked y'all to bring on the baby travel tips! Any "must-do"s or "must-not-do"s?

-The boys turn three months old tomorrow. That is pure insanity. Seriously.

-We have secured a sitter for my birthday at the end of this month (24th, 'cos I know someone's gonna ask...), and it will be the first time we have left the boys with a stranger. Back at the beginning of the semester, H sent an email to his advisees explaining why he wouldn't be attending one of the advising week events, and included a picture of the boys. Two different students replied to that email saying that they would love to babysit for us, one of whom was a regular sitter for triplets back in her hometown. According to H, the girl who agreed to sit for us that day is quite mature, despite the fact that she's a freshman. Is 18 too young to care for my three-month-olds? Our plan is to go out after the boys go down for the night, which is around 7:30 or 8:00, and to go to a restaurant close by. Good plan or bad? How much can we expect from a young sitter? Will she be able to get the boys back down to sleep if they wake up? They don't have stranger anxiety yet, but will they freak out if they wake up and Mama's not there to comfort them?

I just don't know and I'm a little concerned about it, but I also know that if it works out well, then it's something we can plan a bit more regularly so we can have a real date night. Fancy! (I don't know why I think 18 is so young. I recall babysitting for an infant when I was TEN... That's too young, I think!)

-I can't believe I'm going to be 34 this year. MAN, that just feels OLD! I know it's not old, but it feels so much older than 33. I'll be in my MID-thirties, not my early-thirties...

-H informed me the other day that he was planning to submit a paper to a conference in May. For anonymity's sake, I won't say which conference, but only that it's a HUGE one, and one that is almost completely unrelated to his field. Um, let's say that H studies apples, and specifically, varieties of apples that grow in a certain area, and how those different varieties of apples are perceived among the people who live where those apples are grown. He doesn't study how to cook with apples, or what makes his apples distinct genetically, or about the many uses of those apples-- just whether people like those apples enough that the rarer variety will continue to be farmed or not based on how much people like or dislike one apple variety over another.

And this conference is a bread making conference, that happens to have a couple of slots for people who want to present papers on tea breads made from an ancient heirloom variety of apples. And H, having studied many of the varieties of apples that make up the lineage of his apples, and a few of the related apple offshoots, decides that he could probably come up with a good enough paper for an ancient-apple-tea-bread recipe, even though he doesn't really study those kinds of apples, nor does he generally study apple recipes, and certainly doesn't study bread recipes.

But, it's a HUGE conference, and he claims it will look really good on his resume. He very quickly in passing mentioned that said conference is known to be one giant drunken hullabaloo (hey, that word almost rhymes with the city where the conference will take place...), trying hard to downplay that factor. BUT, I'm a clever wife, and while I know he will be *sort of* pursuing a career-related endeavor, I really get the feeling that he wants to attend this conference as a chance to "legally" (meaning work-related-so-wife-has-to-agree-to-let-me) get out of the house and cut loose.

And I know plenty of people who handle twins while their spouses travel often and work long hours, etc., but I'm guessing that in their case, work-related travel is actually more connected to their job than apples and bread are connected. Ultimately, he'll go anyway, but I'm wondering if I should mark that one under my "you got to do this, so I get to do that" category. If it were purely work, I wouldn't give it a second thought, but if he gets to go off to a massive party conference for a week, I think that should earn me a week-long trip elsewhere on my own at some point down the line...

Maybe I'm just being silly, but I'm freaked out about the prospect MONTHS from now of having to handle the twins on my own around the clock. Bedtimes, mealtimes, bathtimes, in-between-times... it makes my head spin thinking about it!

-The boys have started holding hands while they nurse. At first, I thought it was just random, but no. They actually reach out their hands for each other and squeeze each other's hands while nursing. And yes, it is one of the most heartmeltingly cute things I've ever seen...

And that is all, I think.

What is going on in your world? Any advice/response to anything on my list?


Marie said...

You just made my uterus ache when you posted about the twinzies holding hands.

jenicini said...

Ha...same bday, same age girl!

Anonymous said...

Apples, apples, apples, bread, apples, brain is so confuzzled right now. We still haven't used a sitter. I've been here for every nap and bedtime. Maybe have her come when the boys are awake so they can "meet" her (and then they won't be shocked to see someone else there) and she can see what it takes to get them down (patting, singing, rocking). We still have help when Nav goes on business trips. Though don't get me started on last night when he wasn't home because he got stuck in DC (post forthcoming). I still don't have it within me to go it alone.

You seem to have forgotten pictures of said hand-holding cuteness (though if it's only when nursing I understand). That's why we have a side-by-side stroller. A & B hold hands almost continuously. Reels in the grandma-types when we're out shopping.

Happy (early) Birthday! I'm only 51 weeks older than you. said...

that is so sweet about the boys!!

I've only let my MIL babysit :) i don't trust people I don't know so you're way ahead of me on that.

Esperanza said...

We've been really lucky that Mi.Vida's parents live very close by and never have anything to do so they watch Isa for us when we need a sitter. The only thing I would recommend, because this is what I do when Mi.Vida watches Isa (which feels the same as a sitter) is stay close to home, that way if you get called you can get there quick. It's stressful knowing that you need to get home because your baby is screaming it's head off.

As for travel, we're taking Isa on her first plane flight at the beginning of October so hopefully I'll have all sorts of do's and don'ts (my guess is we'll rack up some don'ts) for you then.

I'm so sorry you've been sick. That must be horrid. I usually get a shit ton of colds about now but I'm hoping that not being at work (a middle school) will help me with that this year. Plus I wash my hands like crazy now, and I didn't do that before).

As for the conference, I would definitely let you DH do it with few strings attached. I mean, I'd let him take the boys for a day before that, so he knows how much you're doing for him, but otherwise he might just feel angry for being made to feel bad. I promised Mi.Vida that he'd be able to work on his website/podcast after the baby was born (which is a huge times suck) and I've never tried to guilt trip him about it. He seems to do a good enough job of that himself, which was what I hoped would happen. At the same time, I do want him to be able to have his life, because it's important to him. I have my life too, in my own ways, but I wanted kids more than him so I feel like I should take the bigger hit. Plus, I'm the mom, and right now he's just not as good at this stuff as I am.

I hope all goes well and you feel better soon. So good to hear from you!

Rachel said...

Hopped over from the Lushary...

My 8 mo. old apparently has the same cold with the same body fluid I WILL cry with you :)

Hope you feel better and are spared any more fluid-to-skin contact tonight!

Alexicographer said...

So sorry you're starting to feel sick, yuck. We went through a lot of buggy bugs year one and it wore me down.

On the sitter: eighteen is plenty old, and in my experience your boys are the perfect age to leave with a "stranger" because they really don't care. At least mine didn't. At all. Miss that aspect of that age (but not plenty of other aspects)!

Ellen K. said...

I think an 18-yr-old would be absolutely fine, especially with triplet experience. Being used to watching several kids at once is key. Our babysitter (21 yrs old) works at a gym childcare room and works summers at a camp. She can totally roll with the punches, and she has eyes in the back of her head; plus she knows all sorts of clever games and songs.

Text messaging is so fantastic for checking in with teenage or college-age babysitters. It's so much easier to send an "All OK?
or "Will be home in 10 min" text than make a phone call and feel like an overprotective, worrywart mom. Also, I can book a babysitter in no time at all.

I miss being pregnant, too.

Sorry that you are sick. Such a lousy feeling as a new mom, and also lousy in that you realize you just have to keep going, no matter what.

D. travels occasionally for work, sometimes up to 10 days, but on these trips he almost always works night shifts and has no opportunity for having fun. I have mixed feelings about it. I wish he could have more fun and better sleep -- but I also resent that he can leave and leave everything to me. Being the default person is definitely the least pleasant part of motherhood.

tireegal68 said...

I have to borrow that pregnancy test joke - it just made me laugh out loud!!! Priceless!
Do you read the Blog Puffer and the Baby Fishies? She is a twin mom and does a lot of travelling with her wife and they seem to me to be total experts at the travelling thing. Check her out - she's in my blog roll.
I'm sorry you are all so sickly and mad with H for you for getting out of baby care duty. Like how can YOU possibly get out of it, even if you are sick?! You still have to feed them, etc etc etc!
That whole apples and bread conference analogy is very elaborate and very funny unless you're the one whose husband is involved. I don't blame you for worrying.
That baby sitter sounds like she will be great - how about cultivating that relationship so you can go out more and / or when H goes to the conference she can help you?
Hope things get better soon!

Miss Unsinkable said...

SWEET JEEEEBUS... those kiddos of yours are so effing cute (referring to pic in last post, btw). I would just sit and make googley eyes at them all day long - it's a wonder how you are able to leave their side. They are ADORABLE!

Now that we have approached the middle thirties (ok, i think I am headed toward late thirties, anywho) the 18 year mark seems to scream teenager though they are on the cusp of adulthood. Seriously though, see if any have taken a sitter class (offered by YWCA & GIrl scouts), ask for 3 references - NOT FAMILY and see if they are first aid/cpr certified. I think you should be covered.

I had a supervisor once who hired a sitter to come and watch the kids while she was home. At the time, I thought she had a screw loose however upon further reflection, I think it was bloody brilliant. It gave her the sense of having some free time minus the guilt of leaving the kids with a sitter. It might be a good solution while H is enlightening the world about bread and apples :-).

Regarding H and the escape....

Photogrl said...

We have the same cold going on here compliments of Miss O. I have the scratchy throat, runny nose, and cough. Poor Big Boy seems to have the congested nose and cough, too. So far, Pretty Girl seems to be ok.

Kudos for lining up a baby sitter. I hope she's a keeper for you! We still don't have a regular sitter we could call...

Oh, I can only imagine the cuteness of them holding hands. Precious!

Christina said...

I'm a freak and we still haven't left Annika with a sitter and she's 10 months old so I'm no help. But if the girl has watched triplets before successfully (I would have gone insane) then I think you're safe.
Have a good time on your birthday!

Serah B. said...

Our favorite babysitter is 19--and a dude. He's awesome. We also hired a younger sitter when my daughter was a baby, and she was fine too. I sat twin babies when I was in middle school, and it went fine. I think it just depends on the person. Being nearby for the first run is a good idea--and I always make sure my sitters know they can call for ANY reason; I'd rather get a phone call about something stupid than have them not call about something potentially important.

I think you should let H go to the bread party conference in exchange for your own party conference at your own chosen time and place. Maybe if this sitter works well, you can arrange for extra help while H is away. The first time my hubs traveled for business after Ro was born, I hired a college student to stay the week with me. I actually didn't even pay her--just gave her free meals. She was at school during the day, but helped me get the kids up and ready in the morning and down at night. I really didn't end up needing much, but was so much less stressed knowing I had another set of hands available while I was figuring out how to fly solo.

Anonymous said...

so. i turned 34 this year, too. my sister overheard my dad telling someone i was in my LATE 30s.!

i think that 18 is fine. they will likely just sleep and it will be fine. if not, she can always hold a baby until you get home. no sweat.

oh...i miss the hand holding during nursing. i always thought, "i should take a picture of this...oh wait. those are my boobs, too!!!" lol.

loribeth said...

Catching up (again) after my vacation (again). The image of two little boys holding hands while nursing is just too damn cute. You'll have to hang on to that image for the days when they're 10 & trying to kill each other over who gets the Nintendo controller or whatever, lol.