Ups and Downs

Yesterday was brilliant. I felt freakin' fantastic, because the boys actually slept on Tuesday night. And now, today, I'm back in peely-eyed tired land, because I couldn't get comfortable while they were in bed with us. Oh, and H was delerious himself and alerted me four separate times (each time as I was aaaaaaaalmost asleep) that Henry wanted to nurse, when in fact Henry was dead asleep. I asked him at one point if he wanted me to move over, because he was laying in an odd position, and he replied by saying, "Should I put him in the swing?" Huh? He swears that Henry was awake and trying to nurse on those times when H was trying to get my attention to feed him, but as I was mostly awake, I know that Henry wasn't even sort of crying, so I'm not sure what made H think he was hungry.

And then, around 5:45, both boys decided that they only wanted to sleep if they were being rocked/walked. H is pretty good with the boys on the whole, but there's something about the way that he handles them at night that keeps them from settling easily with him. So Henry will be fussy and H won't be able to console him, so I'll pass Jack to him, and Jack will wake up. And then, Jack will scream. And SCREAM, and SCREAM and SCREAM. And so, I'll have Henry settled and trade babies again, and within a few minutes, Henry is awake again and fussing. And this morning, that really made H upset. And then H wanted me to comfort him, in addition to keeping Jack content, and trying to rock Henry. And as much as I love him, I really just didn't know what to do. I don't know what it is that he and I do differently that sometimes makes the boys freak out (except that H doesn't have the boobs, which makes a difference when the boys want to be comforted, I suppose).


So. Good and bad, up and down. Better, then worse. I guess it's better than being all downs and all bads and all rough nights, right? I just wish I had any idea why nights are one way and then the other. Sigh.


Anyway, Jack had a lot to say yesterday:


These are his "words", usually used in complaint of some sort! I just can't stand how cute he is sometimes!


So tomorrow is the birthday... I did decide to go ahead and hire both girls to babysit with the boys, and emailed them to get everything set up, and it occurred to me-- What an 'old' thing to do. I really felt every bit of my to-be-34 years when giving instruction to these girls. I just remember getting instruction from the parents I sat for, and how grown up they were, how OLD... and now, I'm the one hiring the sitter. I feel like I should be the one getting the list of phone numbers and the bedtime instructions and the allowances to help myself to anything in the fridge or pantry.

In true Shit-Birthday fashion, our pre-dinner plans crashed and burned. H's department puts on a fun event every year around this time, with beer and sausages and a band, and I look forward to it every year. People wear "costumes", and H's dad sent us shirts for the boys that match the kind of shirt H wears for this event (a northern German sailor shirt). Anyhow, the plan all along was for the boys and I to meet H there when the event starts and then to leave early to get home to do the bedtime stuff before we go out. But then, H just dropped on me the other day that he had volunteered to be the one to pump the keg (sounds stupid, but due to campus rules, the keg has to be tapped by the catering company, who only has crappy hand-pump taps, so every year, the people from his department take turns being the Pump Bitch, pumping and pumping and pumping so that the beer keeps flowing). So this basically means that from the time the event starts until H leaves, he's going to be standing behind the beer table pumping the frickin' keg. There were 4 other things he could have volunteered to do, each of which was decidedly more baby-friendly, but instead, he's doing the one thing that he absolutely cannot do with a baby in hand, and the one thing that cannot be paused for any real length of time (lest the co-eds sober up long enough to revolt).

So. Instead of going there to meet him around 4:30 p.m., I will be showing up just before 6:30 to pick him up, because I cannot imagine trying to handle both boys on my own in a crowd of drunken college kids with loud music and with absolutely no way to get even a few minutes' help from Papa. And so, instead of getting a small break on my birthday, I will be alone with the boys from 8:00 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Instead of going to this fun event and having a beer and brat on my birthday I will be alone with the boys through the meltdown hour, and trying to pack them up and leave the house to pick up H during the absolute worst of meltdown time. Instead of getting to attend this event that I look forward to every year, I will sit at home while H drinks beer and eats brats and hangs out with his colleagues and students. I'm not even entirely sure I want to try to go out to dinner after that-- how exhausting handling the screaming fuss time alone-- not to mention that H will already have eaten (and drank and drank and drank), so what's the point of going out to eat and drink alone?

Guh. Happy Effin' Birthday.

I did find out that I'm getting a Kind.le for my birthday from my mom, which is awesome.

So, you know. Ups and downs...

What about you? What ups or downs are going on in your life?