Thursday, September 23, 2010

Ups and Downs

Yesterday was brilliant. I felt freakin' fantastic, because the boys actually slept on Tuesday night. And now, today, I'm back in peely-eyed tired land, because I couldn't get comfortable while they were in bed with us. Oh, and H was delerious himself and alerted me four separate times (each time as I was aaaaaaaalmost asleep) that Henry wanted to nurse, when in fact Henry was dead asleep. I asked him at one point if he wanted me to move over, because he was laying in an odd position, and he replied by saying, "Should I put him in the swing?" Huh? He swears that Henry was awake and trying to nurse on those times when H was trying to get my attention to feed him, but as I was mostly awake, I know that Henry wasn't even sort of crying, so I'm not sure what made H think he was hungry.

And then, around 5:45, both boys decided that they only wanted to sleep if they were being rocked/walked. H is pretty good with the boys on the whole, but there's something about the way that he handles them at night that keeps them from settling easily with him. So Henry will be fussy and H won't be able to console him, so I'll pass Jack to him, and Jack will wake up. And then, Jack will scream. And SCREAM, and SCREAM and SCREAM. And so, I'll have Henry settled and trade babies again, and within a few minutes, Henry is awake again and fussing. And this morning, that really made H upset. And then H wanted me to comfort him, in addition to keeping Jack content, and trying to rock Henry. And as much as I love him, I really just didn't know what to do. I don't know what it is that he and I do differently that sometimes makes the boys freak out (except that H doesn't have the boobs, which makes a difference when the boys want to be comforted, I suppose).

So. Good and bad, up and down. Better, then worse. I guess it's better than being all downs and all bads and all rough nights, right? I just wish I had any idea why nights are one way and then the other. Sigh.

Anyway, Jack had a lot to say yesterday:

These are his "words", usually used in complaint of some sort! I just can't stand how cute he is sometimes!

So tomorrow is the birthday... I did decide to go ahead and hire both girls to babysit with the boys, and emailed them to get everything set up, and it occurred to me-- What an 'old' thing to do. I really felt every bit of my to-be-34 years when giving instruction to these girls. I just remember getting instruction from the parents I sat for, and how grown up they were, how OLD... and now, I'm the one hiring the sitter. I feel like I should be the one getting the list of phone numbers and the bedtime instructions and the allowances to help myself to anything in the fridge or pantry.

In true Shit-Birthday fashion, our pre-dinner plans crashed and burned. H's department puts on a fun event every year around this time, with beer and sausages and a band, and I look forward to it every year. People wear "costumes", and H's dad sent us shirts for the boys that match the kind of shirt H wears for this event (a northern German sailor shirt). Anyhow, the plan all along was for the boys and I to meet H there when the event starts and then to leave early to get home to do the bedtime stuff before we go out. But then, H just dropped on me the other day that he had volunteered to be the one to pump the keg (sounds stupid, but due to campus rules, the keg has to be tapped by the catering company, who only has crappy hand-pump taps, so every year, the people from his department take turns being the Pump Bitch, pumping and pumping and pumping so that the beer keeps flowing). So this basically means that from the time the event starts until H leaves, he's going to be standing behind the beer table pumping the frickin' keg. There were 4 other things he could have volunteered to do, each of which was decidedly more baby-friendly, but instead, he's doing the one thing that he absolutely cannot do with a baby in hand, and the one thing that cannot be paused for any real length of time (lest the co-eds sober up long enough to revolt).

So. Instead of going there to meet him around 4:30 p.m., I will be showing up just before 6:30 to pick him up, because I cannot imagine trying to handle both boys on my own in a crowd of drunken college kids with loud music and with absolutely no way to get even a few minutes' help from Papa. And so, instead of getting a small break on my birthday, I will be alone with the boys from 8:00 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Instead of going to this fun event and having a beer and brat on my birthday I will be alone with the boys through the meltdown hour, and trying to pack them up and leave the house to pick up H during the absolute worst of meltdown time. Instead of getting to attend this event that I look forward to every year, I will sit at home while H drinks beer and eats brats and hangs out with his colleagues and students. I'm not even entirely sure I want to try to go out to dinner after that-- how exhausting handling the screaming fuss time alone-- not to mention that H will already have eaten (and drank and drank and drank), so what's the point of going out to eat and drink alone?

Guh. Happy Effin' Birthday.

I did find out that I'm getting a Kind.le for my birthday from my mom, which is awesome.

So, you know. Ups and downs...

What about you? What ups or downs are going on in your life?


Rachel said...

Any chance you could get one of your 2 babysitters to meet you at the beer party so that you could have some help. I would guess that once you show up and get into the party and find the other faculty, someone else would love to snuggle a baby. Just a thought.

And Happy Birthday! Isn't hiring babysitters weird?

amy said...

Aaaaand now we're having brats for dinner. ;)

I think Rachel's idea is brilliant. Or could you have the sitters come early and do the party instead of dinner? Or does the party go late enough that you could do it instead of going to dinner at the same time you were planning?

Sorry if you wanted to go to a real grown-up dinner on your bday and not get wasted at a college party like I keep suggesting. It's just that that sounds freaking fantastic to me right now. Screw dinner, I want to party! Heh.

My birthday always sucks. I think this year was the 1st decent one since I was about 19. I hope you can figure something out. Could you just move the whole shebang to Saturday?

Good luck, Kate, and happy happy birthday!

Marie said...

I was gonna say the same thing the previous two said except get the sitters to come early and go kick up your heals at the party yourself while H is stuck liquering other people up ha!

kate said...

I should have said in my post, but both of our sitters are attending the party as guests, so they aren't available to babysit during that time... suck.

Anonymous said...

Rats, I was going to agree with the others but I see that's not an option. Hmm, maybe think about rescheduling. I'd hate that too but perhaps having time with a not-partied-out hubby is more important than the actual calendar. And I say this knowing my birthday is next Friday and nothing is planned but we're going to try to convince the in-laws to watch the boys on Saturday so we can go out for an early celebration.

If you can figure out why some nights are good and some bad, please let me know. I was just about to post that it seemed our sleep issues were resolving...and then last night happened. Using toothpicks to prop open my eyes today. I love H's reaction. If they're not hungry and just need a cuddle, try having H wear/wrap one of your shirts for the boys to snuggle into. The scent of you may be enough to calm them down. Also I know Nav pats harder and faster than I do (hmm, that sounds dirty) so having H match your rhythm (mind out of the gutter) may help too.

Loved the video (so did Benjamin). I can't believe how big they're getting.

jrs said...

your twins are so cute.
thanks for stopping by my blog
hope you had a happy birthday

JJ said...

Oh the video is adorable. I cannot wait to see them (I know I say that every time!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ( a bit early! ) Enjoy spending it with your boys!
My low: Oman is STILL sick.
My high: I am almost to my goal weight.

Ellen K. said...

Ugh, I feel for you. I think that in time H. will realize -- especially after he sees you struggling to handle two children -- that twins require a back-up person. D. sometimes laments how much less fun he is having than other dads, who can get away with dumping the kids on their wives. Wah, wah...

Sorry about the birthday plans. : (

I realized after a few babysitting sessions that I should probably try not to be so chummy with our sitter -- who is 12 years younger than me, and conceivably I could have babysat for her!

jenicini said...

Okay, can the babysitters come on Sat instead? You are right that it probably won't be much fun you still need to fit in a great time for you! This is very necessary for mom! Incidentally I got a kindle for my bday too. Love it!

Sue said...

When a coworker of mine showed up with his twins at our work party, I can't even count how many people clustered around him and his wife to take the babies off their hands. In fact, he and his wife took off - to get some food or basically do anything that didn't involve them taking care of twins. I wouldn't rue out going to the party - you might have more help than you think.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday - whatever happens, you have a lot to celebrate.

Alexicographer said...

I'm with Sue (and some others). DH left me home alone to go on a fishing trip (with my consent, but that didn't make it easy) when DS was about 2 months and the best break I got by far was going to a party (OK, OK, two parties). DS was whisked away and constantly cuddled and my arms were ... unladen. It was great. Maybe worth a try?

Esperanza said...

Wow, that would REALLY piss me off. Like seriously. I can see my guy making that lame mistake but then I could also see him rectifying it once I made him aware of how lame a mistake it was. You DH can't ask someone to trade jobs or something? Seriously!

I'm glad you got one good night of sleep but am sorry to hear it was followed up by a shit night.

I hope tonight is the best yet! said...

Happy Birthday today!!

I hope the babysitters work out. Boo about H's job at the party...that'd be frustrating.

Crossed Fingers said...

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of stress right now. Hopefully you have an "up" to look forward to soon!

ICLW #115